Uncle Bob's Take

Global Whoring ??

2010-06-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

Hehehe...Is it hot Mr. Gore????

I apologize for not posting sooner. Presume your local biased News missed the case. Apparently the #2 man learned from the Horn-Dog-In-Chief during his 8 years in the White House. And you know somewhere Bill is laughing his ass off. Whether or not true, you can't put yourself in those, um, positions...That's why when Uncle Bob gets a massage, Mrs. Uncle Bob is right there.

Not suitable for children, taken from the New York Post, w/my liberty...

A masseuse who accused Al Gore of being a "crazed sex poodle" and of groping her in a hotel room is preparing to come forward,

Sources tell Page Six the so-far unidentified Oregon woman is ready to publicly reveal herself and heap more embarrassment on the former vice president in return for a seven-figure media deal. And she intends to use the pants she wore on the night of the alleged incident -- supposedly stained with Gore's DNA and stored in a bank safety-deposit box -- as evidence against Gore, who recently split with wife Tipper.

The woman filed a police statement accusing Gore of sexual "abuse" after a massage at Portland's Hotel Lucia in October 2006. The statement described how during the session, he allegedly "began to demand that I go lower . . . It appeared that he was demanding sexual favors or sexual behaviors." She claimed he "angrily complained that I was not doing what he wanted."

She alleged, "He grabbed my right hand hard, shoved it down under the sheet to his pubic-hair area . . . and said to me, 'There!' in a very sharp, loud, angry-sounding tone."

She added, "He had a dramatic display of violent temper as well as an extremely dictatorial commanding attitude besides his Mr. Smiley Global Warming concern persona. I did not want to get hurt, and I did not want to get raped."

Portland police say the investigation was dropped because "there was insufficient evidence to support the allegations" and the woman declined to seek prosecution.

Torture. My Way.

2010-06-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

Uncle Bob is all for it. Your way, my way, all the way, when dealing with barbarians.

It's been a while since Bob blogged. A thought. Do you know about this Joran Van der Sloot? The Holloway/Aruba alleged-likely killer?

He's been in the news lately re: disappearnce and death of another young lady in Peru. If you know what I'm talking about, have seen the news, you are aware of the situation, both current and past.

You care if his head was put in a vice and cranked down until he talked? You care if he stayed that way until his "info" was confirmed?

You care if he was made to think he was drowning until he talked?

Would it matter? When would it matter?

You Too can look like Nancy Pelosi

2010-04-23T06:11:00.000-07:00

First-Ever Full Face Transplant...

BRITISH experts today welcomed the news that a team in Spain has performed the world's first full face transplant.

More than 30 medics carried out the operation at Barcelona's Vall d'Hebron University Hospita.

The patient was unable to breathe, swallow or speak properly before the surgery and relied on artificial equipment.

New facial muscles, skin, nose, lips, jaw, teeth, palate and cheekbones in the 24-hour operation, which was performed on March 20.

"This is the first full face transplant performed worldwide, as the 10 operations performed previously had been only partial."

The operation included the transplant of the entire facial skin and muscles, nose, lips, maxilla (upper jaw), palate, all teeth, cheekbones, and the mandible (lower jaw).

In the first part of the operation, the soft parts of the face, including veins and arteries, were extracted before firmer tissue was removed.

The final part of the surgery involved transplanting bones and connecting nerves to the new face.

Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2944094/First-ever-full-face-transplant.html#ixzz0lvdgYlR1

Uncle Bob Exposes Himself???

2010-04-20T03:45:00.000-07:00

I was advised not to show this picture as I would be "outing" myself. What am I Ellen?? Elton John??? The BeeGees? Anyway, Bob's idea of don't ask don't tell is to ignore that chunk floating around in his soup.

So, Who is Uncle Bob? No clear picture has been available to date. So...in this photo I declare, Bob. (Uncle Bob is in the middle).

Monday April 12th was the 2010 STL Cardinals HomeOpener. Other than honeymoon and maybe a trip to Cabo, Uncle Bob and little brother have gone to HomeOpeners for 10+ years.

In this photo Uncle Bob also for the first time shows a picuture of his daughter. She is on the left and looks like her Mother, Mrs. Uncle Bob. Sadly I cannot come up w/a catchy name like Mrs. Uncle Bob for her, so I'll call her "Lea".

"Lea" goes to school in STL, I'm sure I have mentioned in previous posts. I act as though this is the first time I have shared "Lea"'s existence in my world, but it is, well, my world. "Lea" has been going to school in STL now for 2 straight quaters with nothing but A's. She lives down in the loft district down from her school and 15 minutes from the ballpark!!

Ozzie Smith longtime Cardinal shortstop (for those of you like Mrs. Uncle Bob that is the position bewtween 2nd and 3rd base) and he recently opened up a sports bar 2-4 blocks down from "Lea's" place. So after the game, 5-0 Redbird victory, a Big Red W, we went down for supper.

Ozzie was there signing autographs, we each got a couple, including the special H.O.F. '02--which means Hall of Fame 2002, the year he was inducted.

Uncle Bob is reluctant to have his picture taken, especially when not having the time to fix his hair. But Bob is a trooper and agreed to the photo.

Mr. Smith acknowledged a following of Uncle Bob's Take and insisted on a photo of Uncle Bob and "Lea"; soon to be on display at the restaurnat.

I can't deny I live a very special life. One week at the Masters, limo rides, Tiger, etal. The next week Cardinal HomeOpener with little Brother, spending time with "Lea", meeting the Wizard, Ozzie Smith, his autograth, pictures on so forth.

Uncle Bob's Take: None of Bob's experiences mean nothing without "Lea" or little Brother, or Mrs. Uncle Bob, or his Little Buddies. For their own good Uncle Bob is relucant to "out" Mom and Dad, whom without, Uncle Bob would not be. Uncle Bob surrounds himself with good people. They are what make's Bob's life special, not the superficial parts to Bob's life.

Mile High or High Mileage ???

2010-04-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

Uncle Bob recently revealed that he'd spent time with Eldrick Woods down at the Masters. Bob joked about Mr. Woods and he working on our putting. At night. But what Bob didn't tell was he traveling experience.

Uncle Bob took this pix of the lady next to him on the flight. Three sheets to wind, constantly muttering somthing about "Bubba don't know what he got".

Uncle Bob may have to got back to flying coach if this type of harassment continues.

Bend over and Grab Thy Ankles (It's April 15th)

2010-04-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.” Ronald Reagan

Tax Day is a dreaded deadline for millions, but for nearly half of U.S. households it's simply somebody else's problem.

About 47 percent will pay no federal income taxes at all for 2009, according to projections by the Tax Policy Center, a Washington research organization.

We have a tax system that exempts almost half the country from paying for programs that benefit everyone, including national defense, public safety, infrastructure and education.

We have 50 percent of people who are getting something for nothing.

Uncle Bob's Take from last year no different this year:

Let me tell you how it will be; There's one for you, nineteen for me.

Cause I’m the taxman.

Should five per cent appear too small, Be thankful I don't take it all.

Cause I’m the taxman.

If you drive a car-I’ll tax the street
If you try to sit– I’ll tax your seat
If you get too cold– I’ll tax the heat
If you take a walk- I'll tax your feet.

Don't ask me what I want it for, If you don't want to pay some more.

Cause I’m the taxman.

Now my advice for those who die, Declare the pennies on your eyes.

Cause I’m the taxman,.

And you're working for no one but me.

Mrs. Uncle Bob & Mrs. Tiger Woods

2010-04-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

What do Mrs. Uncle Bob and Mrs Tiger Woods have in common?

Both had their husbands on the loose this past weekend at the Masters. Right on. Right on. Right on. No Bill Clinton didn't join us. The HornDog-In-Chief can't have a rep of hanging out with Uncle Bob and Tiger, Bob just likes what the image conjures up in the imagination of the conversation.

Via an insurance company promotion Uncle Bob was part of a "no spouses" trip to the Masters. Hubba Hubba.

Bob was privildged to join 11 other male insurance agents and one female on an all expenses paid trip to visit Augusta National. Bob walked the hallowed grounds of Augusta on Friday, sharing time and wisdom w/Mr. Woods. If you call, "You Da Man" words of wisdom.

Limo rides and every whim and need being caterd too is a rough life. That was for Uncle Bob. Not sure, but presume Tiger was treated equally as well. Undoubtedly when Bob rolled out of the limo there were disappointed folks.

But that is where any comparisons end. For Uncle Bob came home to a loving wife who missed him very much. Or Bob presumes. And Uncle Bob missed Mrs. Uncle Bob.

Uncle Bob's Take: For every Uncle Bob there is an even greater Mrs. Uncle Bob.

Did I mention it was during our 9th Wedding Anniversary? We agreed to another year.

History 101 as told by Uncle Bob

2010-03-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed...

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass..

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots, paper salesmen, and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Now you are up to speed on the History, as told by Uncle Bob. Amen.

Biden Blesses Irish Leader's Mother

2010-03-18T19:47:00.001-07:00

The Right calls Barry the Messiah, but Ole Joe has cripples standing up and putting to death the living, then seemingly resurrecting. He went to God Rest her Soul to God Bless her Soul in less than a verse.

Joe Biden Does It Again!

2010-03-17T20:17:00.001-07:00

I can't get enough of this video and Ole Joe is the gift that keeps on giving.

According to reports today Vice President Joe Biden asked for God's blessing for the late mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen during a White House celebration of St. Patrick's Day — except the elderly lady is very much alive.

"God rest her soul," Biden said Wednesday night as he introduced Cowen and President Barack Obama. He quickly caught himself and noted that it's Cowen's father who is no longer living. Of the prime minister's mother, Biden said, "God bless her soul."

Stand up, rise up, whatever. If I can find the video I'll must certainly share. But in the meantime relive this classic moment with me.

Presidential Reunion

2010-03-03T06:44:00.000-08:00

Funny or Die's Presidential Reunion from Will Ferrell, Chevy Chase, Ron Howard, Jim Carrey, Fred Armisen, Darrell Hammond, Jake, Dan Aykroyd, Maya Rudolph, Dana Carvey, FOD Team, and Antonio Scarlata - Video

Just something Funny for the times. W - has a great line to Jimma Carter. "Open a bag a malaise chips..." Back during Jimma's time, there was what the called the 'misery index' to track how bad it was.

Wayward Wiener

2010-02-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

As devoted readers know Uncle Bob is a big St.Louis Cardinals fan, spending many nights and afternoon's at the ole ball park. In fact Uncle Bob was headed to Spring Training when on the flight, this story caught Bob's eye...

Baseball fans who sit six rows behind the third-base dugout at Kansas City's Kauffman Stadium know there's a chance they might have to duck a
few foul balls from time to time.

But a Kansas man says it was a flying hot dog, not a baseball, that almost put
his eye out while watching a Royals game late last summer.

John Coomer filed a lawsuit against the Kansas City Royals earlier this month
seeking more than $25,000 for injuries he sustained Sept. 8 when he was smacked
in the eye with a hot dog chucked into the seats by the team's mascot,
Sluggerrr.

Coomer said the wayward wiener caused a detached retina and the development of
cataracts in his left eye, forcing him to undergo two eye surgeries. In his
lawsuit, Coomer claims he suffered permanent impairment of his vision and is at
a greater risk of future eye problems.

Royals director of media relations David Holtzman said the team does not
comment on pending litigation.

In his petition, filed Feb. 8 in Jackson County Circuit Court, Coomer says he
was attending a Royals game when Sluggerrr climbed on top of the third-base
dugout and started shooting hot dogs into the stands with an air gun.

The mascot then put down the air gun and began heaving hot dogs into the
stands, including one he threw behind his back, striking Coomer in the eye as
he sat six rows from the dugout.

In addition to seeking restitution for medical expenses, Coomer is seeking
damages for the team's failure to adequately train its mascot on the proper
method of throwing hot dogs.

Now there is plenty to laugh about in this story. And as Uncle Bob giggled about the words 'wayward wiener' in a news story, Mrs. Uncle Bob, said, "ok Ross". A reference to Uncle Bob's little buddy who is 6.

Uncle Bob's Take on this apparent wiener taking a wiener to the face and suing...

What are we coming to? I sue because my hot coffee is well, too hot? Can a hot dog tossed behind he back, even at point blank range cause this kind of trauma?

Had this been Uncle Bob caught in the path of a wayward wiener, Bob would have reacted like the real man he is. Uncle Bob would have picked his wiener up off the floor and demanded that Albert Pujols sign it. I would have then put the signed wiener on my shelf with the autographed balls of Tony LaRussa and Mark McGwire.

Oh, and there's nothing wrong with having a sense of humor of that of a 6-year old boy.

Where is Uncle Bob???

2010-02-25T08:14:00.000-08:00

This is Uncle Bob's alter-ego, SnowBobNoPants, filling in.

Uncle Bob apologizes for lack of blogging this month.

Bob is re-charging his batteries and promises more of Uncle Bob's take on all things that, well, needs Bob's Take.

Pssst...Barry....

2010-02-01T20:15:00.000-08:00

That's the mayor of Tampa. Florida. United States of America. Pam Iorio.

Mrs. Clinton...Wardrobe Malfunction????

2010-01-31T08:13:00.000-08:00

With the Super Bowl fast approaching a wardrobe malfunction has been on Uncle Bob's mind. Who knew it'd be Mrs. Clinton. aaaarrraghhh!!! Uncle Bob may be in therapy and thus fewer posts, boys and girls.

Fortunately, it was not a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction, more like Al Bundy.

Apparently Mrs. Clinton slipped out of her glass slipper on the way to the French ball meeting with French President Nicholas Sarkozy.

President Sarkozy's presence in this photo recalled Uncle Bob's memory to this other classic photo. Oh, if it had been former Horn-Dog-In-Chief slick Willy in the original photo instead of Barry.

Must presume Sarkozy is looking down to steady himself and not get light headed or faint. No rubber-necking in this photo.

Illinois Primary

2010-01-29T17:46:00.001-08:00

The Illinois primary is upon us and Uncle Bob has voted.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would (or Mrs. Uncle Bob).

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we’re good guys.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.(Uncle Bob has never told the story of the theft of his bicycle and refreshment aids…but another time).

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never
get their agendas past the voters.

Uncle Bob’s Take? I can just hear my littlest Buddy saying “Bob bad boy!!!” Maybe.

But not on this topic. Uncle Bob voted the RIGHT way.

Keep in mind: "A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."

We're Going to Illinois and North Dakota and Nevada and

2010-01-26T17:19:00.001-08:00

This is Uncle Bob's tribute to Scott Brown and his election last week in Massachusetts.

Uncle Bob has been feeling a bit pressured lately on his blog. Bob has long been shocked at the hit counter on this blog. Mrs. Uncle Bob generally scoffs when I tell her I've touched a lot of people. Anyway...

Uncle Bob has been approached by "fans" of the blog that I quite frankly didn't know had a computer, others figuring out who Uncle Bob is, and a few wackos calling for Bob and higher office. Oh dear!

So Bob has been a bit mindful of what he says and felt the need to give Bob's Take on the vote last week. But Bob must be moved to give his Take.

So it finally hit me tonight as I was meditating in the hottub, yes Uncle Bob gets in the hot tub in all temperatures. It maybe in the single digits outside, but it's 106 in Bob's tub. Nothing like a Bob-beard icicle.

This election in Mass was a great triumph for the GOP. Uncle Bob is not in the business of dissecting candidates, issues, and to whom to vote for. Uncle Bob does not believe the Obama-Pelosi-Reid agenda is what is best for the greatest country in the history of the World. And in order to get back to the Founding Father's ideas of Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness, we need more of what happened last Tuesday.

And what a great line by Mr. Brown in his acceptance speech, I paraphrase: We need to be spending money buying weapons to fight terrorists not spending money trying terrorists in our court system. Amen.

Gov Dean's rant serves as the inspiration heading into November on two points:

1) The GOP needs to win Democrat seats up for election and retain the Republican seats up for reelection. and 2)Do not become a screaming lunatic on the campaign trail.

Change we can Believe In

2010-01-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel " pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land".

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc...

I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.

They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

Uncle Jedidiah ?

2010-01-15T18:30:00.000-08:00

Uncle Bob has been trying to figure out what he was gonna do once this health care "reform" was forced upon him.

Bob not being a life long democrat, union member, welfare recipient, illegal alien, terrorist, nor a family pet, finds himself....reformed!!! Oh dear.

So I did some more research. Dug deep. Turns out that the Amish are excluded under religious grounds. Hello, Uncle Jedidiah's Take.

No question Uncle Bob can grow the beard, too bad for Chad. I'll have to shave the stash, with me since the early 90's. But Uncle Jedidiah may have to take the plunge.

Nothing in stone just yet. See the democrats are proposing this universal health care in all it's glory. But did you know, that coverage doesn't take effect until 2012, after, presumably Barry has been elected to a 2nd term. However the taxes and fees start right away. (That's how the budget officials get away with the 'deficit neutral' language)...wont' cost the Country a nickel, actually lowering the deficit.

Uncle Jedidiah has just been diagnosed with Bend-over-and-grab-the-ankles syndrome.

But I'm worried about the little buddies being able to say "Uncle Jedidiah" and a "Jedidiah beard" just doesn't have the ring. So I may have to hold off for the time being.

In the meantime I need to look into how the Zoning in Newton treats hitching posts. Anyone know an official?

Big Mac and Uncle Bob

2010-01-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

Mark McGwire came forward this week to basically affirm what all had suspected, that he used steroids during his career. Uncle Bob is not a moralist. I along time ago said I would do it. What he did was wrong. Was illegal. And disappoints alot of people, fans or otherwise. But to the best of my knowledge Mr. McGwire never beat his wife, his kids, his dog or cat. Mr. McGwire, to the best of my knowledge never cheated on his wife, his kids, his dog or his cat.

Uncle Bob has Mr. McGwire's autograph in his office. I can still recall that day in Spring Training. Dad was a across the way bird-dogging as Mac came down the line signing autographs. I and Lea wainted in the wings. She must have been 10 or so. I held her up over a chain link fence and Big Mac walked over and signed.

The autograph is nice. I would never sell it. It is, and will continue to be proudly displayed in my office. But the memory of me, my Father, and Lea is what means the most. Oh yea, Mom and Michele were in the background.

I don't recall the year, but we stood in line, Michele, Lea, a friend, and Uncle Bob, before a game in which McGwire had a bobblehead doll give away. It was a long snaking line, the kind Bob would only stand in to kick Obama in the healthcare. We got our bobblehead and it too is in Bob's office.

So..Uncle Bob's Take? Never more so that in the light of Tiger Woods, or Big Mac's affirmation is it true what Charles Barkley (famous basketball player) said: I am not a role model.

Mom's, Dad's, Grandma and Grandpa's, and even (gulp) Uncle Bobs should be, and we are, all role models.

Profiling...Damn Right

2010-01-07T17:13:00.000-08:00

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves. And this present course as set by our leaders in D.C. is where we are headed. Defeat.

Muslim extremist have long been at war with America. Only recently have we, begrdudginly, acknowledged, but only as a nuiasnace.

And so as we travel, we take off our shoes, hand over our hairspray (God, how Uncle Bob hates that one), check our shampoo, and now maybe show what's hidden in our underwear, etc.

Old ladies and children checked and rechecked for an explosive in Malibu Barbie or bottle of Geritol.

Yet we are too politically correct to take a second look at Samar Al ben Ima Skyhook.

These events are actual events from history. They really happened! Do you remember?

HERE'S THE TEST

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and
massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3.. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in
Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year
old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in
his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy
diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed
by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women
problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as
missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the
remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other
was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of
people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. And now we can add: In 2009, 31 people wounded and 13 American Soldiers murdered on base at Fort Hood.

The answers to to the above? Each and everyone:

You guessed it - A Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40.

Uncle Bob is guessing Barry never took this test @ Harvard. Just a hunch.

Uncle Bob, the Underwear Bomber, and Barry

2010-01-04T16:16:00.000-08:00

Well from the looks of this picture, Uncle Bob was totally off base in my previous post. I was concerned about the President's commitment to airline security and my safety.

Obviously Uncle Bob was mistaken. This gray-haired, blue gloved gentleman with some sort of pump jell in front of him has this Country protected.

Protected from what I don't know, but it does recall Uncle Bob's affection for the original Fletch movie.

"Using the whole fist, Doc?" Moon river...

Think we'll drive this summer.

The Underwear Bomber & Barry

2009-12-30T16:45:00.000-08:00

By now I'm sure that you've heard about the Nigerian Muslim that tried to bring down Flight 253 over Detroit on Christmas Day. What you haven't heard is Uncle Bob's Take.

Start from the beginning. An Islamic terrorist attempts to set off a bomb hiddened in his under-roos on a flight landing in Detroit. It failed. As the philosopher Snoop Dogg would pontificate, there was a fizzle in his schdizzle.

This is the best news coming out of Detroit and Michigan, which has been run into the ground after decades of liberal control and economic policy's, in years. Come to think of it, thank God that the liberal establishment from Michigan wasn't on the flight!

In review, someone with such hatred for the greatest Country in the history of the World, strapped an explosive to his, uh, self, to blow up 200+ passengers. This during the year of our Obama? Hope and change? I was reminded of the following:

“I truly believe that the day I’m inaugurated, that not only does the country look at itself differently, but the world looks at America differently. If I’m reaching out to the Muslim world, they understand that I’ve lived in a Muslim country and I may be a Christian, but I also can understand their point of view.

“The world will have confidence that I am listening to them, and that our future and our security is tied up with our ability to work with other countries in the world. That will ultimately make us safer. And that’s something that this administration (Bush/Cheney) has failed to understand.” B. Obama Nov. 21, 2007, New Hampshire Public Radio.

So finally, three days after the incident, they interrupt Barry's Surf & Turf vacation for him to make a statement. No word if the clickty-clack of his golf shoes were a distraction for those assembled.

The words Barry used in his press conference go hand in hand with this November 2007 quote. In describing this failed terrorist attack on the homeland he spoke of alleged, suspect, criminal, and charged. At least he is consistent.

That's the background. Uncle Bob's Take?

Surprisingly, I agree w/the Barry's November 2007 statement. The World, the Muslim World, all are listening to what he says. And they are rubbing their hands together in glee.

I as Muslim extremist could take the battle to Iraq or Afghanistan and if I fail I could be killed or captured. OR I can goto the homeland and if I fail, Barney Frank, er Fife, will be their to read me my rights, send me to the detention facility in downstate Illinois (per the geographically challenged Dick Durbin), get me lawyered-up, plead insanity, do 20 easy. Before if I would have been captured on the homeland, I could have been subjected to Dick Cheney sticking bamboo shoots up my fingernails, trying to drown me, or worse, taking me quail hunting w/my lawyer.

And not because this is Cheney's hobbies. I presume. But rather to find out information on where this dude got his training, who he knows, what else might be coming, etc. And if it is just for giggles to "torture" these guys, count Uncle Bob as giggly. What Barry and the liberals don't get is these extremist are serious about killing as many of us as they can and no "good will" of closing Gitmo or righteous talk of "I’m reaching out to the Muslim world, they understand that I’ve lived in a Muslim country and I may be a Christian, but I also can understand their point of view." makes a diffence to these killers.

Yes we have found our hope and change.

Oh and the opportunity for conversion while in the can!! Ever roll your eyes about the hardened career criminal/murderer who finds God in prison? What about the virtues of Islam? and 72 virgins?

Oh, and for the younger Uncle Bob followers this picture is not of Barry and the Underwear Bomber. It's of the previous worst President in American history, Jimmy Carter. What is it with the Democrat party and NUTS??? A peanut farmer and a former ACORN activist?

You can feel safe America as this will not be the only response we will see in the name of protecting ourselves.

Nope, we can certainly expect that the next time Uncle Bob travels that his bag will be more closely looked at. Yours as well.

We The People

2009-12-27T07:10:00.001-08:00

Mele Kalikimaka From Uncle Bob (and Uncle Clark)

2009-12-24T05:55:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone out there reading Uncle Bob's blog have a very Merry Christmas.

Hope and Change Uncle Bob can Believe In

2009-12-09T12:50:00.001-08:00

The Unofficial Theme Song for Unlce Bob's Take.

At Least Barry Didn't Bow...

2009-12-02T17:50:00.001-08:00

Uncle Bob missed THE take on the White House crasher story.

Everyone by now knows the story of Michaele & Tareq Salahi, wannabe reality show stars showing up at the State Dinner last week with out an invitation.

Original photo's showed the couple with the Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel and V.P. Biden. Then this photo appeared. Uncle Bob missed this obvious take.

After Bambi's trip around Asia and his bowing to the Empreror of Japan, which followed a bow to the Saudi King earlier this year, Dennis Miller tongiht had the take:

At least Barry didn't bow to the Salahi's. The one good point coming out of this story.

Uncle Bob is sorry he didn't come up w/this orignal Take, but gives the credit to Mr. Miller. Uncle Bob will work harder.

Global Warming Stalls...The Oprah Hardest Hit???

2009-11-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

Reader's of Uncle Bob's Take have surely gotten the message that Uncle Bob does not believe in Global Warming. Or should Bob say, that Man is creating any warming. Uncle Bob believes in a power higher than Algore. GOD. I do not believe that we have the capability to destroy this great Planet. The Earth was here long before the Human Race and I'm quite certain will out last Man. So to believe that we are warming the Earth w/our SUV's and our coal-fired plants, etc is just beyond the pale.

Global warming is one of those issues that you can cite all the statistics in the world. Uncle Bob believes the push for Global Warming legislation is just more control coming from D.C. And if they had a track record of success, maybe Uncle Bob would forgo his GOD and turn to Algore.

Uncle Bob's Take has long been of the opinion that if the Earth is warming, what's the big deal. Few more day's for Uncle Bob to work on his tan. And if indeed the Earth was warming, maybe The Oprah would still have a job in a couple of years.

What???? Global warming has The Oprah headed to the unemployment ranks w/the other 17.5% of Americans? Well, not necessarily unemployed...but read the following:

The Oprah announced live on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" last week that she has decided to end what is arguably one of the most popular, influential and enduring programs in television history. The sun will set on the "Oprah" show as its 25th season draws to a close on September 9, 2011. She's now privately talking about hosting a show "that's smaller and different" on the Discovery Communications start-up OWN, aka the Oprah Winfrey Network. And she explained to insiders, "Why would anybody stay in Chicago? It's freezing here, and I have a mansion in Montecito that I haven't been able to enjoy."

I know alot of people love The Oprah. So Uncle Bob wants to cite where he gets his information, especially when speaking of "insiders". www.deadline.com and wsj.com.

So just maybe if there was really Global Warming, The Oprah would still be going strong.

Finally, Uncle Bob's Take on The Oprah. She is extremely talented and has made a fortune using her gift. And good for her. Uncle Bob is just concerned about that percentage of her fans that are sad sacks and now have no one to tell them what to do, what to read, and ahem, whom to vote for. Modesty aside, I have two words: Uncle Bob.

Dick Durbin...DumbA...

2009-11-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

Anyone here in the Central/Southern Illinois area has long felt the shaft of Chicago in our politics. Nothing, you see, is South of I-80. Uncle Bob will go on vacation, be asked from where he hails. Simple reply of Illinois is enough to generate, Chicago?

"No" Bob will reply. Central Illinois. I'm closer to a Kentucky still than I am The Oprah (proud of it too).

A perfect example of this contempt for everything South of I-80 was displayed just this week in the Wall Street Journal, by none other than our embarrassment of a U.S. Senator than Dick Durbin.

The following is an outtake from Monday's Journal re: bringing terrorist, enemy combatants, non-citizens, to a prison here in Illinois. Uncle Bob could blog all day long about the insanity of awarding Constitutional rights to our enemy's. Do we want to win the war on Terror or not?? Anyway, w/o further adieu, Senator Durbin:

The idea of using the Thomson Correctional Center, 150 miles west of Chicago, has the support of some local elected officials, including Sen. Dick Durbin, the No. 2 Democrat in the Senate. But people in Thomson, a town of roughly 500 people bordering the Mississippi River, said that while they welcome the economic lift, they worry about the possible effect from people visiting the detainees. ”

"This is an opportunity to dramatically reduce unemployment, create thousands of good-paying jobs and breathe new economic life into this part of downstate Illinois," Mr. Durbin said. "We should not let the unsupported and misplaced fears of a few stand in the way of this historic economic boost to our region."

I ask that you view the map Uncle Bob has provided. Uncle Bob's take? Senator Durbin is not in touch w/his own State, let alone this Great Country and further more I must question his education.

Thanks for Letting Us Down Dave

2009-11-16T16:05:00.000-08:00

No this is not a shot at Mr. Letterman.

Uncle Bob has a friend also named Dave whom lives in St. Louis. For the sake of his privacy Uncle Bob won't reveal his last name. But it rhymes with Erndon.

Each year roughly at this time there is a Big City announcement and since Dave moved back to ST. Louis, the City has been #1. Yea City.
But not now, sadly, the news today...

St. Louis has relinquished its title as the sexually transmitted disease capital, dropping to number two in the country for rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia. For several years the city’s disease rates topped the country.

St. Louis has a chlamydia rate of 1,225 cases per 100,000 residents. Baltimore has a higher rate, at 1,321. With gonorrhea, St. Louis’ rate is 539 cases per 100,000 residents. Richmond, Va. has the highest rate at 639.

The city ranks 16th for syphilis rates, same as last year, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
There were 94 fewer cases of chlamydia and 387 fewer cases of gonorrhea in the city in 2008 compared to 2007.

Dave, I know you're getting older and travel quite a bit. But where's the pride Man? Buck up, as it were. Get out there and, um, take one for the City.

HipHip Horray...

Uncle Bob's Balls aren't Biodegradable

2009-11-10T08:44:00.001-08:00

Research teams at the Danish Golf Union have discovered it takes between 100 to 1,000 years for a golf ball to decompose naturally. A startling fact when it is also estimated 300 million balls are lost or discarded in the United States alone, every year. It seems the simple plastic golf ball is increasingly becoming a major litter problem.

The scale of the dilemma was underlined recently in Scotland, where scientists -- who scoured the watery depths in a submarine hoping to discover evidence of the prehistoric Loch Ness monster -- were surprised to find hundreds of thousands of golf balls lining the bed of the loch.

It is thought tourists and locals have used the loch as an alternative driving range for many years.

With an increasing number of golf balls discarded each year, the Danish Golf Association devised a number of tests to determine the environmental impact of golf balls on their surroundings.

From the moon to the bottom of Loch Ness, golf balls are humanity's signature litter--UK lawmaker Patrick Harvie.

It was found that during decomposition, the golf balls dissolved to release a high quantity of heavy metals.

Dangerous levels of zinc were found in the synthetic rubber filling used in solid core golf balls. When submerged in water, the zinc attached itself to the ground sediment and poisoned the surrounding flora and fauna.

Course manager for the Danish Golf Union, Torben Kastrup Petersen, said the scale of the problem is unknown: "There has been very little research on the environmental impact of golf balls, but it's safe to say the indicators are not good. We are planning to collaborate with environmentalists in America to conduct more tests to fully explore the extent of the problem."

Local government ministers in Scotland have also complained about the level of golf ball littering. UK lawmaker Patrick Harvie told CNN: "From the moon to the bottom of Loch Ness, golf balls are humanity's signature litter in the most inaccessible locations."

And he's not wrong. On 6th February 1971, Commander Alan Shepherd was filmed taking a swing with a six iron on the surface of the moon. According to Shepherd, the balls flew off in the distance and landed a few kilometers away. Although the balls were left for future golfers to discover, it is believed the extreme temperatures on the surface would have dissolved the balls many moons ago.

In many cases, removing a partially degraded ball from a lake or woodland area could result in further damage to the wildlife. So what is the solution?

Harvie had this advice: "Keep your balls on the fairway or invest in a stock of biodegradable balls."

Uncle Bob's Take??? Environmentalist Wackos' will not lay one hand on Bob's Balls. Bob will continue to play with the balls he has in his bag, and should they be lost, will replace them w/the very same balls these Wacko's would have Bob not touch.

Furthermore, the direction of Bob's balls to the fairway or otherwise, will be the sole choice of how Bob swings his club.

Global Warming my Frigid Rear End

2009-11-10T05:22:00.000-08:00

Temperature Highlights - October. From the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration National Climatic Data Center

The average October temperature of 50.8°F was 4.0°F below the 20th Century average and ranked as the 3rd coolest based on preliminary data.

For the nation as a whole, it was the third coolest October on record. The month was marked by an active weather pattern that reinforced unseasonably cold air behind a series of cold fronts. Temperatures were below normal in eight of the nation's nine climate regions, and of the nine, five were much below normal. Only the Southeast climate region had near normal temperatures for October.

Statewide temperatures coincided with the regional values as all but six states had below normal temperatures. Oklahoma had its coolest October on record and ten other states had their top five coolest such months.

Florida was the only state to have an above normal temperature average in October. It was the sixth consecutive month that the Florida's temperature was above normal, resulting in the third warmest such period (May-October).

The three-month period (August-October) was the coolest on record for three states: Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Five other states had top five cool periods: Missouri (2nd), Iowa (3rd) , Arkansas (5th) , Illinois (5th) and South Dakota (5th) . Every climate division in Kansas (nine) and Nebraska (eight) recorded a record cool such period.

For the year-to-date (January - October) period, the contiguous U.S. temperature ranked 43rd warmest. No state had a top or bottom ten temperature value for this period.

Uncle Bob's Take??? The boobs in the Senate will be working on global warming legislation just as soon as they finish wrecking the health insurance industry. Notice it's now called "climate change" since, well there's no evidence of global warming. Comrade Kerry and the gang won't be satisfied until we look and behave like Eastern Europe.

By the way, hows that Hope and Chamge working our for you?

PELOSI: Buy a $15,000 Policy or Go to Jail

2009-11-06T16:47:00.001-08:00

Today, Ranking Member of the House Ways and Means Committee Dave Camp (R-MI) released a letter from the non-partisan Joint Committee on Taxation (JCT) confirming that the failure to comply with the individual mandate to buy health insurance contained in the Pelosi health care bill (H.R. 3962, as amended) could land people in jail. The JCT letter makes clear that Americans who do not maintain “acceptable health insurance coverage” and who choose not to pay the bill’s new individual mandate tax (generally 2.5% of income), are subject to numerous civil and criminal penalties, including criminal fines of up to $250,000 and imprisonment of up to five years.

In response to the JCT letter, Camp said: “This is the ultimate example of the Democrats’ command-and-control style of governing – buy what we tell you or go to jail. It is outrageous and it should be stopped immediately.”

Key excerpts from the JCT letter appear below:

“H.R. 3962 provides that an individual (or a husband and wife in the case of a joint return) who does not, at any time during the taxable year, maintain acceptable health insurance coverage for himself or herself and each of his or her qualifying children is subject to an additional tax.” [page 1]

- - - - - - - - - -

“If the government determines that the taxpayer’s unpaid tax liability results from willful behavior, the following penalties could apply…” [page 2]

- - - - - - - - - -

“Criminal penalties

Prosecution is authorized under the Code for a variety of offenses. Depending on the level of the noncompliance, the following penalties could apply to an individual:

• Section 7203 – misdemeanor willful failure to pay is punishable by a fine of up to $25,000 and/or imprisonment of up to one year.

• Section 7201 – felony willful evasion is punishable by a fine of up to $250,000 and/or imprisonment of up to five years.” [page 3]

When confronted with this same issue during its consideration of a similar individual mandate tax, the Senate Finance Committee worked on a bipartisan basis to include language in its bill that shielded Americans from civil and criminal penalties. The Pelosi bill, however, contains no similar language protecting American citizens from civil and criminal tax penalties that could include a $250,000 fine and five years in jail.

“The Senate Finance Committee had the good sense to eliminate the extreme penalty of incarceration. Speaker Pelosi’s decision to leave in the jail time provision is a threat to every family who cannot afford the $15,000 premium her plan creates. Fortunately, Republicans have an alternative that will lower health insurance costs without raising taxes or cutting Medicare,” said Camp.

According to the Congressional Budget Office the lowest cost family non-group plan under the Speaker’s bill would cost $15,000 in 2016.

###

Health Care Reform?

2009-11-06T06:57:00.000-08:00

Health care reform should not be used as an opportunity to use federal funds to pay for elective abortions. Health reform should be an opportunity to protect human life - not end it.

Unfortunately, Speaker Pelosi’s 2,032-page government takeover of health care does just that. On line 17, p. 110, section 222 under “Abortions for which Public Funding is Allowed” the Health and Human Services Secretary is given the authority to determine when abortion is allowed under the government-run plan. The Speaker’s plan also requires that at least one insurance plan offered in the Exchange covers abortions.

What is even more alarming is that a monthly abortion premium will be charged of all enrollees in the government-run plan. It’s right there on line 16, page 96, section 213, under “Insurance Rating Rules.” The premium will be paid into a U.S. Treasury account - and these federal funds will be used to pay for the abortion services.

Section 213 describes the process in which the Health Benefits Commissioner is to assess the monthly premiums that will be used to pay for elective abortions under the government-run plan. The Commissioner must charge at a minimum $1 per enrollee per month.

A majority of Americans believe that health care plans should not be mandated to provide elective abortion coverage, and a majority of Americans do not believe government health care plans should include abortion coverage. Currently, federal appropriations bills include language known as the Hyde Amendment that prohibits the use of federal funds to pay for elective abortions under the Medicare and Medicaid programs, while another provision, known as the Smith Amendment, prohibits federal funding of abortion under the federal employees’ health benefits plan.

Speaker Pelosi’s 2,032-page health care monstrosity is an affront to the American people and drastically moves away from current policy. The American people deserve more from their government than being forced to pay for abortion.

House Republicans are offering a common-sense, responsible solution that would reduce health care costs and expand access while protecting the dignity of all human life. The Republican plan, available at HealthCare.GOP.gov, would codify the Hyde Amendment and prohibit all authorized and appropriated federal funds from being used to pay for abortion. And under the Republican plan, any health plan that includes abortion coverage may not receive federal funds.

Trick or Treat, from Bob

2009-10-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

That's right. This year Uncle Bob is going as an illegal alien.

Bob will show up on your doorstep, full of disease, expecting that you'll take full care of him. Food, drink, health care, and retiremnent.

And you will. Thank you very much. You see, via the Government's lack of policy towards the illegal aliens you are paying for healthcare, etc through 'hidden' taxes.

And I just might mow your lawn. Or piss on it. It doesnt' really mattert to us illegals. We get paid just the same.

WWJS ???

2009-10-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

What Would Jed Say ?

Uncle Bob was in his hottub the other day when an epiphany came to him thinking about this great Country, where we are, where we came from, and where we are headed. A mere 30 years ago, Uncle Jed, Clampett that is, was a real man. And today, he'd be the target of the Obama Administration.

Look at this from Uncle Bob's goggles.

Thirty years ago, Jed was a poor mountaineer. By all accounts of the day, barely kept his family fed. Yet he'd head to the hill's, totting his rifle looking for a tasty varmint for Granny to fricassee. Doing what had to be done to take care of his family. Jed wasn't waiting for meals on wheels or any other damn government program. In fact, what with Granny's still, the government was looked upon suspiciously (as they should). Then one day, while shootin at some food, up from the ground come a bubbling crude. For your liberal greenies, that's oil. Black gold. Texas tea.

Well, the next thing you knew, Ole Jed was a millionaire. You see, Jed had the mineral rights to the ground he was hunting on. Jed and his new wealth moved his family out of the conditions they were in and moved to Cali-forn-i-a (as Arnold would say). Jed's wealth pumped new tax revenue into the economy, property values increased, development and investment in the local economy skyrocketed.

But today, in Barry's America....

Well, ole Jed would have been on the dole for some time. Gettin paid to stay home, not look for work. Jed would be told how evil business' were and how they had put him in this position. And who supports business? Republicans.

Going out w/that gun??? I don't think so Jed. Not after an expensive permit, training course, and 5 day waiting period. And once Jed had secured the anti-gun lobby's permission, watch out for the environmentalist wako's. See that crude Jed found had to have covered a yellow-bellied sapsucker or two. Tsk tsk.

So, no hope, no gun, no crude, no tax revenue, no expansion.

I haven't even mentioned Jed's mode of transportation. Algore is still calculating the Clampett's carbon foot print.

What Would Jed Say.....PIT-T-FULL.

What Would Uncle Bob Say....we need to get back to the old days when Jed Clampett was a hero and not a villain.

Obama...Not like Hitler???

2009-10-10T11:47:00.000-07:00

A lot has been said out there about the Socialist practices of Dear Leader Barry.

I must agree w/the liberals that take offense to such suggestions.

But not why you might think.

You see, Hitler got the Olympics for Berlin.

So can we please move past the Obama like Hitler references and have Peace (ahem) in our time?

Pig Flu My Ass

2009-09-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

The following was a news article Uncle Bob just saw. I haven't blogged in a while and there's a lot of crap out there for Bob to go off on. And the media hysteria on this Pig Flu is one.

Read the article below. He thinks he contracted the Pig Flu via biking 25 miles in the rain and then dancing all night at a birthday party??? Maybe if he was dancing with Elton John or using Elton as his bike seat.

The story...

Early Show" host Harry Smith has taken a sick day from work, telling viewers he thinks he may have swine flu.

In an interview live from his New York City apartment Monday, Smith told CBS viewers he started feeling achy and feverish over the weekend after a 25-mile bike ride in the rain and dancing all night at a birthday party.

"Early Show" medical correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton said Smith could be right because his symptoms are associated with swine flu. She praised him for staying home and out of circulation.

Dr. Ashton, who was in the studio Monday morning, along with Maggie Rodriguez, told Smith that he had done the right thing for staying home, and protecting his co-workers.

Ashton said most swine flu cases are mild. She predicted Smith will be back on the "Early Show" couch in a couple of days.

The nation's first round of swine flu shots could begin sooner than expected, with some vaccine available as early as the first week of October, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius said Sunday.

According to the CDC, there is flu activity in all 50 states and 98 percent of the viruses going around the country right now are the H1N1 virus.

Symptoms of swine flu can include fever, cough, congestion, aches, chills, diarrhea and vomiting.

Media hype. Thanks Harry. He's praised for staying home. No, Uncle Bob praises Harry for being the complete frick'n idiot that he is and exposing the rest of us his idiociy. Take 4 sleeping pills and a 5th of vodka and let me know how you are felling in the morning Harry.

Moron.

Channelling

2009-08-12T11:05:00.001-07:00

Yea, I'm sure she doesn't want to be Channelling the Horn Dog in Chief. She's in Africa, promoting Women's issues.

Slick Willy is back in Vegas throwing himself a Happy 63rd bday party. While he not promoting Women's issues, Uncle Bob's guess is that he's probing Women's issues.

Did Uncle Bob mention Mrs. Clinton reminds him of a 1st and 2nd Ex-wife??

Obama IN HIS OWN WORDS

2009-08-03T14:31:00.001-07:00

Uncle Bob is not posting this as an insurance agent concerned about his business. Uncle Bob is posting this because he is concerned about his Country. We just can't let this 'reform' pass as it is designed by the Socialist(s) in the White House and in Congress. Pay attention to the real news, do your own googling and research. The mainstream media is only taking dictation for Obama and the boys, there is very little actual journalism, you know the watchdog media, happening out there anymore.

Chopadictamy

2009-07-29T04:44:00.000-07:00

This is a story that touched my heart and I had to share. It has been edited for brevity and to protect the inocent.

Renee is recovering from the surgery that she's been dreaming of for decades.

"Since I was about 13, I always knew something was different”.

She used to be Richard; a green beret specialist in Vietnam. A tough guy who privately dreamed of wearing dresses.

"It was weird cause as much as I wanted to dress like a lady, I didn't say anything.

She was in the military for over 20 years and married twice. She says she (at the time he) eventually started to dress like a woman, but switched back into the uniform for official duties.

"A lot of these transgender patients who try to be men, they take on masculine jobs they become labor struck, drivers, police men, soldiers," said Dr. Sherman Leis, with The Philadelphia Center for Transgender Surgery, says people with gender identity issues often try to over compensate.

Here’s the kicker, she is 77, and while genital re-assignment surgery is complicated, age, as long as there are not medical problems, usually isn't an issue.

Renee says she waited until her wife died to have the surgery, and finally feels normal.

"I'm happy good, as happy as any woman could be," said Renee.

The surgery can be expensive, $20,000. It's something that Renee has been saving for almost all her life. Transgender surgeries are not tracked, but Dr. Leis says his numbers are up.

So that's the story....Uncle Bob's Take:

One of the main components of Obamacare will be the treatment of late in life health needs of our seasoned citizens. There will be procedures that will be denied based on age and cost of treatment.

Government will ok the spending of "X" on a procedure for a young person yet to experience life (or should Uncle Bob say pay the huge increases in taxes that will soon be coming to pay for this boondoogle). On the flip side our seasoned citizens (who are sucking funds out of social security) will be denied that same procedure due to the cost as they've already lived the good life. Pop a pill as Obama said during one of his many new conferences.

Obama surely got the majority of the transgender vote last fall, yet Obamacare will show no favorites. Sensing this concern Renee knew she/he needed the Chopadictamy sooner than later. Same is probably true for the reverse, sister...er rather brother... procedure, Addadictamy. Will keep a sharp eye out for that story.

1st and 2nd Ex-Wives

2009-07-25T06:50:00.001-07:00

Hope I haven't frighten any small children out there taking in Uncle Bob's blog. If so I apologize and sympathize.

Is Hillzilla catching a glimpse of the former Horn-Dog-In-Chief, Slick Willy, chatting up some Asian babe? Possibly.

Or could it be the front page headline in The Wall Street Journal Thursday?

"The battle to get rid of Cankles".

Uncle Bob wonders. You see...

When it comes to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's fashion choices, women often talk about her trademark pantsuits and speculate that she wears them to hide her "cankles" -- slang for chubby ankles.

During the 2008 election, the hilarious Saturday Night Live parody of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton (Tina Fey and Amy Poehler) defending women in politics had this exchange: Palin/Fey, "So please stop photo-shopping my head on sexy bikini pictures," and Clinton/Poehler responds: "And stop saying I have cankles."

The takeaway from years of public comments about her ankles is that Clinton's leg coverage has made American women fixated on their own cankles and that they're resorting to plastic surgery and new workout regimens to get narrower ankles.

According to the WSJ, the wave of women hating their cankles has reached such heights that gyms are coming up with new ways to specifically tone cankles; plastic surgeons now offer $4,000 to $6,000 liposuction procedures to slim them; and shoe companies are offering special models designed to minimize them.

Gold's Gym has declared July cankles awareness month! We can't get Obamacare soon in enough!!!

So, what's Uncle Bob's take? Whether Hillary has caught Bill with an intern or is concerned about her cankles, one thing is certain:

She sounds and looks like your 1st and sometimes 2nd Ex-wife.

Chasing Tail Around the Office

2009-07-15T20:18:00.000-07:00

For followers of Uncle Bob's Take it is known that Uncle Bob is an insurance agent. More specifically he is an independent insurance agent with an office. That's an important distinction in the insurance business.

Well, an unusal (for Uncle Bob anyway) occurence happened in his office recently. Uncle Bob was chasing tail around his office!!!

There's an old saying when chasing tail around the office, "last thing we need is my wife showing up". Well for Uncle Bob that's just want he wanted and needed.

You see as Uncle Bob was putting in a little OT (wink wink) he heard the unmistakable purring of the North American Wild Pussycat. Hijinx would soon ensue as Bob chased it around the office, trying to sheppard it out of his life for good.

Sometimes Pussycat chased Uncle Bob hissing now, purring no more. Finally, Uncle Bob had to call the in the Mrs.

Now Bob and the Mrs. was chasing tail around the office. There's another saying about those who chase tail around the office with the Mrs. stay with the Mrs. but I digress.

Finally as with all of these extracurricular activities a good thing had to come to an end. tsk tsk.

We got Pussycat into a trash can, put a lid on it, and headed for the river w/o the benefit of a tiny life jacket.

The End.

(Actually we took it to another neighborhood and turned it loose).

Uncle Bob's Take??? Never chase tail around the office w/o first consulting the Mrs....

The End.

Can't See the Lines...Can you Russ????

2009-07-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

Something about Democrat Commanders In Chief that make them Horn Dog In Chief. Someone's saluting. Ahem.

Michael Jackson has died.

2009-07-08T06:35:00.001-07:00

Uncle Bob has had a hard time pulling this feelings together on this topic. I think I now have gotten my arms around it. Please be advised that this is a bit racy. You'll be okay however, if you don't speak German or cannot read.

Celebrate the 4th .... With a Fifth???

2009-07-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured
before they died.

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons servingbin the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the
Revolutionary War.

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their
sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists. Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured. Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer,
Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters.

He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.

John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn't.

So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and
silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they
paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!

What Would Reagan Do?

2009-06-06T07:27:00.001-07:00

Uncle Bob is too young to have understood and appreciated the hard times of the late 1970's and early 1980's as they were happening, or as we'd say today, in 'real time'. Though Uncle Bob did carry a photo of Ronaldus Magnus in his wallet as a highschooler.

But Bob has read about those days and while it is not nearly the same as having lived through the disastrous Carter administration, it is none the less instructive. We are seemingly in the 2nd term of the Carter administration, if one was to open their eyes and be honest.

For those that can get by the 'historic' nature of Obama and for those that can put their anger at Bush behind them, you would honestly see that America is not headed to greater days visa via Obama's plans. Just the opposite.

As a Conservative, it is disheartening. Bleak. Looks like the World is going to Hell in a hand basket and that there's a run on hand baskets. Obama is taking over the automotive industry, taking over the banking industry, telling companies who, what, and how much they can pay. He is telling Iran it's okay to get their nuclear power industry up and running, that we know it's not for evil uses (wink wink). All the while we are told to build windmills for our power generation. The Chi-com's have bought Hummer brand from GM and will produce, while we are told to build little bitty cars that get 40 miles to the gallon, and are a death trap. This is not an expansion of American exectptionalism.

So, Bob asks "What Would Reagan Do?"

Ask and you shall receive. The following is to an article that lays out the Reagan Opposition after the 1976 election. It is instructive and encouraging for those of us of feel like we've never seen darker days for America. It is lengthy, but a fabulous read. Please take time to link and print off.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/016/534kmjzd.asp

Uncle Bob's Take??? Not "What Would Reagan Do?" but rather "What Reagan Did"

The Reality Is....

2009-05-30T10:14:00.001-07:00

That the reality shows of today suck. As good friend Homer J. Simpson would say, suckingest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. There is and was only one reality show. The Gong Show. Bob is old school. You had pee in you pants funny acts, good and bad, you had prominent actors and actress' of the day, not a bunch of hacks we are told to like. Paula Abdul. Is she Muslim? Enjoy...

Torture

2009-05-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Been a lot of after the fact moralizing by some on the Left the past couple of months about this topic. Bob's all for it. If it means stopping these wako-Islamofacists from blowing up me or part of my country...hook the battery cables up to their, ahem, and goto work boys. Get the intel we need.

Uncle Bob loves political cartoons and is a big sports fan. This caught my eye today and made me think about torture. If you have done any reading and saw any in depth reporting on Vick and his operations, you would then understand what torture is. And for that matter what a psychopath looks like.

There are a lot of people in the sports world saying Vick has paid his price, did the time for the crime, give him a 2nd chance in the NFL. Well, Mr. Vick is now a felon. He paid his price, but he won't get to vote (if he ever did) and he won't get to carry a firearm (as if he won't anyway) and yet he paid his price, right? Playing in the NFL is a privilege, not a right. And it's rights that are granted in the Constitution, not privileges. Which there is nothing in the constitution about your right to affordable health care, but I digress.

Will Mr. Vick get a 2nd chance, sadly yea. And as much as Bob is not a fan of the People for the Eating of Tasty Animals, I hope that they make the NFL franchise that takes him on as miserable a place as that dog pound.

Fire at will Snoopy.

Stiff....Upper Lip??

2009-05-14T17:22:00.001-07:00

Uncle Bob knows it tough out there in the economy. Every time Bob turns around there's another segment needing stimulated. Wasn't too long ago that Bob blogged about the Bunny's needing a bailout. From Bob's blog to corporate America's ear.

The economy continues to become, well softer. The employment numbers are causing many to be down. Well, the goods folks about Pfizer is offering a bit of a lift for those out there falling short of their expectations.

Pfizer, one of the world's largest biopharmaceutical companies, launched a program Thursday providing medications free of charge to unemployed, uninsured Americans for up to a year.

The initiative, called the Medicines Assistance for Those who Are In Need (MAINTAIN) program, enables Americans who have lost their jobs and health insurance this year to keep taking 70 of Pfizer's most common brand-name medications, including cholesterol-drug Lipitor, arthritis medication Celebrex and impotence treatment Viagra.

To learn more about the MAINTAIN program call 1-866-706-2400 or visit www.PfizerHelpfulAnswers.com.

Uncle Bob's take? Well, no question there's alot dragging out there today and with corporate America's help we can rise back to the heights we achieved in previous administrations. Obama's plans will not lift the spirits of any man or woman. It is not governments place. But with firm hand that corporate America brings to ingenuity, I see great days ahead for all.

Red Whiskered bul-bul

2009-05-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

Just what is this Country becoming??? How many times has Uncle Bob slipped into the Country declaring a red-whiskered bul-bul in his pants and not been arrested ???? Too many times to count. I've faced more scrutiny posing as Dick Fidler at a Senior Tour Golf
Event.

Two California men were indicted today on federal charges that they illegally smuggled Asian songbirds into the country, most recently last month when one of the defendants, returning from a trip to Vietnam, was found with 14 live birds strapped to his legs. Agents at Los Angeles International Airport discovered the birds under the pants of Sony Dong.

According to a Department of Justice press release, CBP agents inspected Dong and "found bird feathers and droppings on his socks, as well as birds' tail feathers visible under his pants." A subsequent search "discovered 14 live birds attached to two flat pieces of cloth that were wrapped around his calves.

The birds included three red-whiskered bul-buls (which is listed as an injurious species under federal law), four magpie robins and six shama thrush." The birds each appear to have been placed in sleeves that were hooked on to the cloth around Dong's legs.

A second man, Duc Le, 34, was later arrested in connection with the bird smuggling. According to a criminal complaint, Dong told investigators that he purchased birds for $50 each and re-sold them for $300-$400 apiece.

Perv E. Cheese

2009-05-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

This mouse, a louse??? Sadly according to the lawsuit filed. Uncle Bob not being one to frequent these risque joints, has thus been justified in his prudence.

Tsk Tsk. What next? One of the Jackson 5 sleeping with little boys? Pro football Hall of Famers hacking up there wives? Govenors of State's with hookers. Presidents staining dress' other than those of their wives?? Ahem.

Uncle Bob can't take this debaucthery of the culture. Sadly read on...

A woman has filed a lawsuit against Chuck E Cheese (henceforth known as Perv E Cheese ), claiming the beloved mouse character at a child-theme restaurant put his paws where they didn’t belong.

(Bob w/holding name of the violated), filed the suit Tuesday in St. Louis County Circuit Court, accusing a man dressed in the mascot costume, (Perv E Cheese), of groping her breast.

The suit says it happened Aug. 2, 2008, at the restaurant at 720 South County Center Way.

"He looked at her, reached out, grabbed her breast and moved along," said Mark Potashnick, (the violoated's) attorney. "Her jaw dropped in shock and disgust."

Her stepfather captured in incident in a photo but didn’t know it until after they reviewed the pictures, the lawyer said.

(The violated) accuses (Perv E Cheese) and the restaurant of assault, battery and discrimination in public accommodation. She’s asking for unspecified compensation, including punitive damages and attorney’s costs.

Potashnick said his client did not know (Perv E Cheese).

(Perv E Cheese) and officials with the restaurant’s parent company, CEC Entertainment of Irving, Texas, could not be reached for comment.

According to the suit, (Perv E Cheese) was greeting patrons when he touched Sorbello.

"As a direct result of (Perv E Cheese) conduct," the suit reads. "( violoated's) has been damaged in the form of emotional distress and humiliation."

So be careful out there Boys and Girls. You never know what lurks behind that phony mask of a cartoon character. Or attorney.

Happy Hour Special

2009-04-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

I was coming home from Decatur last week and I saw a sign in front of a restaurant that reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL

Lobster Tail and Beer

"Lord a'mighty," I said to myself, "my three favorite things!!!!!!"

Hubba Hubba. I just got home.

Uncle Bob

Uncle Bob, An Extremist ????

2009-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

The Department of Homeland Security is warning law enforcement officials about a rise in "rightwing extremist activity," saying the economic recession, the election of America's first black president and the return of a few disgruntled war veterans could swell the ranks of white-power militias.

A footnote attached to the report by the Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis defines "rightwing extremism in the United States" as including not just racist or hate groups, but also groups that reject federal authority in favor of state or local authority.

"It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single-issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration," the warning says.

Now seriously of these two pictures, which woman are you more
comfortable handling a firearm and which one appears off her med's?

And if you don't know, the one off her med's just released this report. She is your Director of Homeland Security.

So, Uncle Bob is an "extremist"?? This post surely will not help Bob's case.

Confiscate from me, O' Dear Leader Obama

2009-04-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

Uncle Bob has been saying for some time now that we are living in an era of the lowest taxation levels that we will see for many years.

Let me tell you how it will be; There's one for you, nineteen for me.

Cause I’m the taxman.

Should five per cent appear too small, Be thankful I don't take it all.

Cause I’m the taxman.

If you drive a car-I’ll tax the street
If you try to sit– I’ll tax your seat
If you get too cold– I’ll tax the heat
If you take a walk- I'll tax your feet.

Don't ask me what I want it for, If you don't want to pay some more.

Cause I’m the taxman.

Now my advice for those who die, Declare the pennies on your eyes.

Cause I’m the taxman,.

And you're working for no one but me.

Bob Preachin' to the Buddies....

2009-04-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

To my Little Buddies...

This won't mean a lot to you now, but it should.

As you grow up you'll all do different things, have different interests, success' and failures. But you'll always have each other.

Your Dad and I went to the Cardinal's Home Opener today, April, 6, 2009, just as we have for several years. We had a blast. We talked baseball, business, family, and of course, you little buddies.

I want you to know, that your Father, my Brother, is my Best Friend. And nothing or no one can replace that.

I want that relationship for my little buddies as well.

Uncle Bob wants to grow old---with a full head of hair mind you--- and hear stories about how Cole took Ross and Luke to the Home Opener, how Ross showed Cole and Luke a good time, and how Luke showed Ross and Cole who was boss!!!!

Uncle Bob wants to hear how Cole, Ross, and Luke are Best Friends.

Uncle Bob doesn't Facespace or Mybook. Bob has family, hands on. No need for any YahoooJournal.

Love,

Uncle Bob

April 7, 2009 City Elections

2009-04-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

Friends & Neighbors,

Newton has a significant election coming up this April 7th. In addition to assorted Executive and Council seats on the ballot, so is the Zoning Board of Appeals.

I am currently the Secretary of the Zoning Board of Appeals and ask for your vote.

I am also asking that you support the individuals, some of whom now serve, on this example ballot.

Zoning is a reality here in Newton and whether or not you are in favor of zoning, you still need someone like yourself to represent your interests.

In advance, I appreciate your support.

Tim K. Farley

Insurance Salesman 2

2009-04-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

That's my original Little Buddy 2nd to left, in the tie. Cub Scout's recently had a night where they dressed up for their future careers. Can't wait to have him in the office. Help take the load off Uncle Bob, maybe then I can slow down. Looking good Cole. Love, Uncle Bob.

Insurance Salesman

2009-03-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

That is what Uncle Bob is. Uncle Bob presumes that a lot people wonder, just what does Uncle Bob do?? Seems like a fair question.

More specifically Uncle Bob has a concentration in commercial insurance, business'. Bob has a specialty and is confident enough in his specialty and self to believe everyone needs it. This specialty is insurance programs for restaurants and to a lesser degree the lodging industry, hotels, etc. This takes Bob far and wide in order to make a decent wage. It often takes Bob to the Metro East area. This in turn also allows Uncle Bob to sneak away to Busch and watch his beloved Redbirds, but not on this day, there would be no sneaking away.

On this day, Uncle Bob had been referred to a hotel by another of his insureds. Having reviewed coverage's etc w/this new fellow, Bob did as he always does, taking a look around to make sure the hotel was up to Bob's standards, insurance-wise. It past muster and Bob was ready to go about his day. But wait, "Jack" also had another location, of crucial importance. It was however substantially West of STL.

What was Bob to do? That's a long drive even for Bob, whose wife loves to goto STL, but couldn't’t on this Day and whom he'd told he'd be home late afternoon on this Friday. Was Bob to presume that his hotel would be just like the hotel he was at, was the prospect correctly describing this other location? It would be much later when Bob got home, if he made the trip. What was Bob to do?

Bob did the right thing and followed his gut. And it was a good thing. While Jack is preparing to spend $200K on the renovations, Bob's not sure that is enough. As I drove around the parking lot observing, wondering just what is going on behind those closed doors,I passed a gentleman I took for a drunk or junkie. Turned out he was maintaince. As he gave me a tour of the facilities, going into separate rooms to make sure that they would pass a more thorough inspection, Bob couldn't help but wonder how this story would read in the papers. (As a side note, Bob gripped his keys in his hands in the manner we teach our daughters when they go off to school and head out to a dark parking lot...if you know what I mean.)

Bob inquired about the appearance that some guests might be residents for a week long, maybe a month at a time, contractors and such. "Oh" hobo Joe replied "some have been here for years". Witness relocation program, Bob is doubtful.

As I left and we shook hands, it crossed my mind, any chance that last tooth is gonna fall out on Bob's hand? Well thankfully no.

So, with this episode, you get an idea of Bob's work and his life, which shapes his views, and of course shapes Uncle Bob's Take. And that Take???

In the great words of Ronald Reagan..."Trust but Verify". Words we should all truly live by.

That You Uncle Bob??

2009-03-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

You might have to click on the picture, but no boys and girls this is not Uncle Bob's off-site closet, u-store. Uncle Bob is into residential rentals. But Uncle Bob has been violated. Not as you'd assume, but as you you might imagine, identity theft. Someone out there is posing as Uncle Bob. No doubt a handsome rascal, but never the less he is not thee Uncle Bob . Uncle Bob found 3 charges on his debit account this week for over $400 to Apple. Anyone who knows Uncle Bob knows he's a Blackberry Man. In an attempt to find this false Bob, I have enlisted the help of O.J. Simpson, who has kindly stepped away from that other 'mystery' he's been trying to solve. Without question O.J. will cut the work in half.

I HOPE HE FAILS

2009-03-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

The following is a piece that just broke on FOXNEWS...Not sure I have the right to copy/paste, but Obama can find me. Any casual observer knows that Rush Limbaugh has proclaimed that "he hopes Obama fails". As casual observers are by definition, casual, they have no clue to what Rush really said. I presume my readers are, casual.

He said, paraphrasing, that he hopes Obambi's redistribution policy's, socialist agenda, etal fails. It is not how this great Country was founded. And of course Rush has taken the arrows, as all pioneers do. This is a lesson, reaffirmation of what I say when I email, "you don't hear this on your local, biased local news". Rush is a target, so you hear about him and what he says, in sound bites, and out of context reporting because that makes Keith Obermann, Chris Matthews, Wolf Blitzed, your local news yocal,etc look good.

The point is the hypocrisy. Can you imagine that anyone other than Rush saying he hopes the President fails? You can't if you listen to ABC,NBC,CBS, MSNBC, etc.

So what am I talking about....

On the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, just minutes before learning of the terrorist attacks on America, Democratic strategist James Carville was hoping for President Bush to fail, telling a group of Washington reporters: "I certainly hope he doesn't succeed."

Carville was joined by Democratic pollster Stanley Greenberg, who seemed encouraged by a survey he had just completed that revealed public misgivings about the newly minted president.

"We rush into these focus groups with these doubts that people have about him, and I'm wanting them to turn against him," Greenberg admitted.

The pollster added with a chuckle of disbelief: "They don't want him to fail. I mean, they think it matters if the president of the United States fails."

Minutes later, as news of the terrorist attacks reached the hotel conference room where the Democrats were having breakfast with the reporters, Carville announced: "Disregard everything we just said! This changes everything!"

The press followed Carville's orders, never reporting his or Greenberg's desire for Bush to fail. The omission was understandable at first, as reporters were consumed with chronicling the new war on terror. But months and even years later, the mainstream media chose to never resurrect those controversial sentiments, voiced by the Democratic Party's top strategists, that Bush should fail.

That omission stands in stark contrast to the feeding frenzy that ensued when radio host Rush Limbaugh recently said he wanted President Obama to fail. The press devoted wall-to-wall coverage to the remark, suggesting that Limbaugh and, by extension, conservative Republicans, were unpatriotic.

"The most influential Republican in the United States today, Mr. Rush Limbaugh, said he did not want President Obama to succeed," Carville railed on CNN recently. "He is the daddy of this Republican Congress."

Limbaugh, a staunch conservative, emphasized that he is rooting for the failure of Obama's liberal policies.

"The difference between Carville and his ilk and me is that I care about what happens to my country," Limbaugh told Fox on Wednesday. "I am not saying what I say for political advantage. I oppose actions, such as Obama's socialist agenda, that hurt my country.

"I deal in principles, not polls," Limbaugh added. "Carville and people like him live and breathe political exploitation. This is all a game to them. It's not a game to me. I am concerned about the well-being and survival of our nation. When has Carville ever advocated anything that would benefit the country at the expense of his party?"

Carville told Politico that focusing on Limbaugh is a deliberate strategy aimed at undermining Republicans.

"The television cameras just can't stay away from him," he said. "Our strategy depends on him keeping talking, and I think we're going to succeed."

Greenberg added: "He's driving the Republican reluctance to deal with Obama, which Americans want."

In 2006, 51 percent of Democrats wanted Bush to fail, according to a FOX News/Opinion Dynamics poll.

Dissing American Investors and Foreign Leaders, Barry's Big Week

2009-03-07T07:36:00.000-08:00

With his Domestic agenda in full effect the New Administration looked to Foreign Policy this week.

The Obamas, Barack and Michelle both, pretty much diplomatically botched the recent visit of British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his wife.

It is well understood that visiting diplomatic delegations come bearing gifts and gift giving is returned in like fashion by the host country. It is an ages old human practice in diplomacy after all. Usually the gifts are valuable, representative of the products of the nations involved or at least symbolic of the history of those nations.

For his part, PM Brown gave two symbolic gifts and one that expressed national pride. Brown came bearing a pen holder carved from the timbers of the sister ship of that which gave the wood to create the famous "Resolute Desk," the desk that has been in America's charge since 1880. He also gave Obama the framed commission for that famous ship, the HMS Resolute. His third gift was a seven-volume biography of one of England's greatest leaders, Winston Churchill.

So, what did President Obama give the British PM? 25 movies on DVD. Yeah, that's it. Brown gives a symbolic gift like the pen holder fashioned from a famous British warship and Obama responds by sending a staffer to WalMart to pick up a few quick movies. How thoughtful. Or not.

Not 100% sure that Obama was smart enough to know that DVDs made in America don't play on European DVD players. American DVDs are created in the "Region One" format while those in Europe play in "Region Two" format. A U.S. DVD just won't play on a machine made for the English market.

Not to be out done in tastelessness by her husband, Michelle got into the act, too. Mrs. Brown came bearing two outfits for the Obama girls from Topshop, one of Britain's trendiest and expensive women's wear retail outlets.
In return, Michelle apparently had a staffer run down to the White House gift shop and grab two toy Marine One helicopter models for the Brown's boys.

Class all the way, huh?

All of this is on top of the snub of the Brits that Obama tossed off immediately upon entering office. One of his first official acts was to summarily return to the Brits the generous gift of the most famous bust of Winston Churchill that has sat in the Oval Office since the attacks on 9/11.

Now, I thought that Obama was going to improve our relations with "the world" once he took office? So far, all he's done is tell our enemies he's their friend and carelessly wave off our actual friends.

Then Mrs. Clinton got into the act.

After promising to “push the reset button” on relations with Moscow, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton planned to present Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov with a light-hearted gift at their talks here Friday night to symbolize the Obama administration’s desire for a new beginning in the relationship.

It didn’t quite work out as she planned.

She handed him a palm-sized box wrapped with a bow. Lavrov opened it and pulled out the gift—a red plastic button on a black base with a Russian word “peregruzka” printed on top.

“We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?” Clinton said as reporters, allowed in to observe the first few minutes of the meeting, watched.

“You got it wrong,” Lavrov said, to Clinton’s clear surprise. Instead of "reset," he said the word on the box meant “overcharge.”

Clinton and Lavrov guffawed. “We won’t let you do that to us,” she said.

Thank God we got the dunce Bush out of the White House.

This is a Man

2009-02-27T07:21:00.001-08:00

Now this is what a Man used to be. But even he is conceding he can't be Dirty Harry today. More like Henpecked Harrison. Wouldn't even get to go by Harry.

Fri, Feb 27 01:15 PM

London, February 27 (ANI): Acting legend Clint Eastwood , 79, apparently believes that political correctness has rendered modern society humourless, for he accuses younger generations of spending too much time trying to avoid being offensive.

The Dirty Harry star insists that he should be able to tell harmless jokes about nationality without fearing that people may brand him "a racist".

"People have lost their sense of humour. In former times we constantly made jokes about different races. You can only tell them today with one hand over your mouth or you will be insulted as a racist," the Daily Express quoted him as saying.

"I find that ridiculous. In those earlier days every friendly clique had a 'Sam the Jew' or 'Jose the Mexican' - but we didn't think anything of it or have a racist thought. It was just normal that we made jokes based on our nationality or ethnicity. That was never a problem. I don't want to be politically correct.

We're all spending too much time and energy trying to be politically correct about everything," he added. (ANI)

Mayor who sent watermelon e-mail says he'll resign

2009-02-27T07:09:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna show this imagine, it can be found by googling. But Uncle Bob's Take is this PC world is run amok. Everyone running around w/their shorts just a wee bit too tight for Bob's liking.

I contend that men nowadays are a bunch of wuss' tip toeing around as to not offend anyone.

I will say is this in poor taste, yes. He is our President and as an elected official this Mayor should have known better. But let the voters decide next election, don't resign. Apologize and move on. If not re-elected, lesson learned.

And back to the President. The PC outrage only surfaces when some ninny liberal is offended. Ever hear any of the pure garbage that today's Hollywood (Whoopi, etal) said about W.

What am I talking about...read below.

LOS ALAMITOS, Calif. (AP) — The mayor of a small Southern California city says he will resign after being criticized for sharing an e-mail picture depicting the White House lawn planted with watermelons under the title "No Easter egg hunt this year."

Los Alamitos Mayor Dean Grose issued a statement Thursday saying he is sorry and will step down as mayor at Monday's City Council meeting.

Grose came under fire for sending the picture to what he called "a small group of friends." One of the recipients, a local businesswoman and city volunteer, publicly scolded the mayor for his actions.

Grose says he accepts that the e-mail was in poor taste and has affected his ability to lead the city. Grose said he didn't mean to offend anyone and claimed he was unaware of the racial stereotype linking black people with eating watermelons.

Located in Orange County, Los Alamitos is a 2 1/4-square-mile city of around 12,000 people.

Obama, I Convert to Thee

2009-02-20T15:14:00.000-08:00

Though not commented on in this space previously, it has long been Uncle Bob's Take that these bailouts, stimulus spending, etc is simply poor fiscal policy, with dire consequences down the road. But I have come around, have seen the light as it were. Today as I did my morning soak in the hot tub I was startled to read the following headline in the Wall Street Journal: "Playboy, Posting Loss, Says it Would Consider Sale". NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The Bunnies need a bailout. Playboy is looking at further reductions than the the 14% Bunny reduction it has already experienced. This cannot happen. These hardworking young ladies have a specific talent not unlike the UAW worker in a GM plant. And is Playboy not as iconic American institution as GM or Ford? Playboy revenues have, ahem, been sagging for some time. Who better than Hef to get a stimulus?? I am suggesting that a blue ribbon panel be formed at once headed up by former President Bill Clinton to look into saving this staple of Americana. I know you can do it Mr. President and God Bless you for it.

Little Buddy...Like Uncle Bob????

2009-01-25T09:21:00.000-08:00

I saw my Body (shop) Man on Friday who relayed a very funny story, since detailed by Chad and Holly. Seems one of the little buddy's was playing on the back of Mommy's car when he 'accidentally' broke off the rear windshield wiper. Undoubtedly his beady little eyes shifted left, then right, then out the back of his head to see if anyone noticed. When no one had noticed, he put it back on and ran like hell. Day later when Mommy activated her rear wiper, that sucker shot across Martin Street like a javelin at the '84 Olympiad. When confronted about this and asked what Mommy should do when needing the wiper, he replied, get out and wipe off the window. Classic. Now anyone knows that Uncle Bob is a bit accident prone and always has been. Just last summer I helped a neighber move his mailbox closer to his home, to save on the walk. I however used my Jeep. And when my eyes went to shifting they went back and forth to the vast number of neighbors who had come out to see what was the matter. At the end of the day he had a new mailbox, closer to his home and I had new racing stripes on the Jeep. And Michele had $250 less to shop with. Lesson? Don't try to tie your shoes while driving. Now, can you guess the little buddy? And is this another example that he might be more like his Unlce Bob than most would be comfortable with??

Get Bent Mrs Bierman

2009-01-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

Where's my Paper? I spent the weekend dodging bullets, saw my ole man get gunned down by some jackass with six slugs, then watched my mom get humped by every young buck in a 2 mile section, and you want to know where my paper is? Get Bent Mrs. Bierman.

Bear Skin Rug

2009-01-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

Michele and I just did some remodeling work in the front room. New carpet, paint, etc. But the focal point was a new fireplace and mantel. So I ordered this rug to put in front, to give it that lodge feel. She doesn't think it's all that tasteful. I'd welcome any opinions. It's a bitch to vacuum, I will give her that....

Merry Christmas to Left and Right

2008-12-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, perrsonally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Obama and his Dobbie

2008-12-17T19:49:00.000-08:00

Oops. Did I mention something about old college pictures in my prior post???? For any of my liberal readers, I want you to know that back in the '90s I had a shirt that had Slick Willy, saxophone in hand, with the bell full of, well you know.... This is not a racist post. And why do I feel the need to travel to Havana????

Uncle Bob's College Daze....

2008-12-17T19:29:00.000-08:00

This is some sage advise from Uncle Bob. You never know when your past might catch up with you. Bob's friend, J.D., whose wife is Top Bunk Becky (a good story for another post) found this photo of me and J.D. on someone's Facespace page. The email came last week from my friend who advised to look past the chicks. We are in the background. That is I, Uncle Bob head down, apparently wearing yellow, college, circa 1995 studying a keg tapper, as I was unfamiliar with it's workings. Keep in mind that when this was taken, there was no myface or spacebook. Hell, at the time AlGore had just invented the Internet. And shortly thereafter proclaimed, sure seems to be warming, but I digress. My point it to be careful out there boys and girls as you never know what might pop up, from you college days.

End of Semester

2008-12-12T15:35:00.001-08:00

Well, I haven't helped Lea out on her Poly-Sci class in some weeks. Not sure if she's getting it or I'm not getting it. Caused me to think back about my days in school, like it was only yesterday....

Obama's Bad Day...Oprah Gains 40...Rodney Looks @ 40

2008-12-09T19:20:00.000-08:00

This blog is Uncle Bob's Take..so it's not so much that Rod's had a bad day, as it is the Chicago Machine, and by extension, Obambi has had a bad day. News broke today that the Gov. had been arrested. Among interesting sound bites, during a wiretapped November 10 call, a frustrated and financially strapped Rodney referred to Obama as a "mf'r" and said that he would not appoint an ally of the President-elect to the Senate vacancy if "I don't get anything." And then...In January's "O" magazine, Oprah details her recent struggles with an out-of-balance thyroid and how the condition made her develop "a fear of working out." She says she's gained 40 pounds since 2006, when she weighed 160. With any luck about the time Rod is serving his sentence Oprah will be able to make it to the jail with the saw safely hid in the not eaten cake. However, if she decides to eat the cake, we can expect an Obambi pardon for all parties involved.

Happy Thanksgiving from Uncle Bob

2008-11-26T06:57:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels.

National Security Under Obama

2008-11-01T21:10:00.001-07:00

I have seen leaked preparations for an Obama administration and we should all be afraid. Very afraid. If elected, he will have Spies, Like Us....

Where do you fit?

2008-10-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

Just an observation about the public in general.

Ignorance is the most expensive commodity in this Country. Not only does it cost so much, it is in great supply.

Hillary Clinton's a nutcracker!

2008-10-21T08:13:00.001-07:00

And to go with your Corkscrew Bill, you'll need the Hillary Clinton nutcracker.

Copy/paste http://hillarynutcracker.com/ into your web browser to order for your election night party.

Introducing Corkscrew Bill

2008-10-21T08:11:00.001-07:00

Planning your election night party yet? Boy I am. Your party will not be complete without the Corkscrew Bill.

Joe Biden Can't Count

2008-10-17T07:34:00.001-07:00

The Bailout

2008-10-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Some say it should be called a 'rescue'. I would agree. In that sometimes rescues fail. If a rescue fails, something is lost. And most assuredly something is being lost in this $700 billion, Save the World from Collapse bill.

I believe that it is socialism. Government getting involved in the markets. It is Marxism. Read it. Learn it. But don't live it. The market may take a hit for the next couple of days, weeks, or even months, it may be rough, but we have to look long term.

I also believe that w/theh bailout it will be longer due to government intervention versus letting the market correct itself.

You cannot let the 'what have you done for me lately' thinking intrude into long term thinking/planning for our financial planning and families.

It will not stop. Hasn't since Bear Stearns in March. Has it ?

We in this day and age are likely living in the lowest age of taxes that we'll ever see.

Why? Not including all these bailout's, real and proposed, we as a Generation are facing an explosion on the Medicare/Medicaid/S.S. entitlement front that will be devastating.

The markets need to correct themselves. The bottomline of this is people in homes that they could not afford. They are not to blame. It was their politicians who were buying their votes, via Fannie/Freddie, policies that gave them the opportunities. Who represented these folks, in mass? Democrats. I got plenty of documentation to back this up.

Seriously, how many can recall hearing about 100 % loans, no money down, interest only loans? Bad credit? No credit? Call now....

No shit there's issues.

Also, speculators that were buying and flipping and never having an intention of living there are in the mix and they should not be considered as 'harmed".

Finally, the quote that I want to leave you with and spurred my diatribe, from the Investors Business Daily, Sept. 26t, TX Rep, Jeb Hensarling:

"Once you lose your freedom to fail, you also lose your freedom to succeed, and you cease to be a free society."

And another thing. These politicians that got us in the mess want to run your health care. And then the phrase bend over will not apply to your annual physical.

Wall Street - Greed Is Good

2008-10-05T09:42:00.001-07:00

Greed is Good

2008-10-05T08:35:00.001-07:00

This may not be the best of timing for this to be my first post, but this is a favorite line of all time. Greed, for a lack of a better term, is good. Capitalism. Not the socialiest agenda now taking place in D.C. More on that to come.

Joe Biden Tells Chuck Graham to Stand Up

2008-10-05T08:34:00.001-07:00