Mrs. Clinton...Wardrobe Malfunction????

With the Super Bowl fast approaching a wardrobe malfunction has been on Uncle Bob's mind. Who knew it'd be Mrs. Clinton. aaaarrraghhh!!! Uncle Bob may be in therapy and thus fewer posts, boys and girls.

Fortunately, it was not a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction, more like Al Bundy.

Apparently Mrs. Clinton slipped out of her glass slipper on the way to the French ball meeting with French President Nicholas Sarkozy.

President Sarkozy's presence in this photo recalled Uncle Bob's memory to this other classic photo. Oh, if it had been former Horn-Dog-In-Chief slick Willy in the original photo instead of Barry.

Must presume Sarkozy is looking down to steady himself and not get light headed or faint. No rubber-necking in this photo.

Illinois Primary

The Illinois primary is upon us and Uncle Bob has voted.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would (or Mrs. Uncle Bob).

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we’re good guys.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.(Uncle Bob has never told the story of the theft of his bicycle and refreshment aids…but another time).

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as IT sees fit.

Uncle Bob voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never
get their agendas past the voters.

Uncle Bob’s Take? I can just hear my littlest Buddy saying “Bob bad boy!!!” Maybe.

But not on this topic. Uncle Bob voted the RIGHT way.



Keep in mind: "A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."

We're Going to Illinois and North Dakota and Nevada and

This is Uncle Bob's tribute to Scott Brown and his election last week in Massachusetts.

Uncle Bob has been feeling a bit pressured lately on his blog. Bob has long been shocked at the hit counter on this blog. Mrs. Uncle Bob generally scoffs when I tell her I've touched a lot of people. Anyway...

Uncle Bob has been approached by "fans" of the blog that I quite frankly didn't know had a computer, others figuring out who Uncle Bob is, and a few wackos calling for Bob and higher office. Oh dear!

So Bob has been a bit mindful of what he says and felt the need to give Bob's Take on the vote last week. But Bob must be moved to give his Take.

So it finally hit me tonight as I was meditating in the hottub, yes Uncle Bob gets in the hot tub in all temperatures. It maybe in the single digits outside, but it's 106 in Bob's tub. Nothing like a Bob-beard icicle.

This election in Mass was a great triumph for the GOP. Uncle Bob is not in the business of dissecting candidates, issues, and to whom to vote for. Uncle Bob does not believe the Obama-Pelosi-Reid agenda is what is best for the greatest country in the history of the World. And in order to get back to the Founding Father's ideas of Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness, we need more of what happened last Tuesday.

And what a great line by Mr. Brown in his acceptance speech, I paraphrase: We need to be spending money buying weapons to fight terrorists not spending money trying terrorists in our court system. Amen.

Gov Dean's rant serves as the inspiration heading into November on two points:

1) The GOP needs to win Democrat seats up for election and retain the Republican seats up for reelection. and 2)Do not become a screaming lunatic on the campaign trail.

Change we can Believe In

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel " pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land".

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc...

I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.

They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

Uncle Jedidiah ?

Uncle Bob has been trying to figure out what he was gonna do once this health care "reform" was forced upon him.

Bob not being a life long democrat, union member, welfare recipient, illegal alien, terrorist, nor a family pet, finds himself....reformed!!! Oh dear.

So I did some more research. Dug deep. Turns out that the Amish are excluded under religious grounds. Hello, Uncle Jedidiah's Take.

No question Uncle Bob can grow the beard, too bad for Chad. I'll have to shave the stash, with me since the early 90's. But Uncle Jedidiah may have to take the plunge.

Nothing in stone just yet. See the democrats are proposing this universal health care in all it's glory. But did you know, that coverage doesn't take effect until 2012, after, presumably Barry has been elected to a 2nd term. However the taxes and fees start right away. (That's how the budget officials get away with the 'deficit neutral' language)...wont' cost the Country a nickel, actually lowering the deficit.

Uncle Jedidiah has just been diagnosed with Bend-over-and-grab-the-ankles syndrome.

But I'm worried about the little buddies being able to say "Uncle Jedidiah" and a "Jedidiah beard" just doesn't have the ring. So I may have to hold off for the time being.

In the meantime I need to look into how the Zoning in Newton treats hitching posts. Anyone know an official?

Big Mac and Uncle Bob

Mark McGwire came forward this week to basically affirm what all had suspected, that he used steroids during his career. Uncle Bob is not a moralist. I along time ago said I would do it. What he did was wrong. Was illegal. And disappoints alot of people, fans or otherwise. But to the best of my knowledge Mr. McGwire never beat his wife, his kids, his dog or cat. Mr. McGwire, to the best of my knowledge never cheated on his wife, his kids, his dog or his cat.

Uncle Bob has Mr. McGwire's autograph in his office. I can still recall that day in Spring Training. Dad was a across the way bird-dogging as Mac came down the line signing autographs. I and Lea wainted in the wings. She must have been 10 or so. I held her up over a chain link fence and Big Mac walked over and signed.

The autograph is nice. I would never sell it. It is, and will continue to be proudly displayed in my office. But the memory of me, my Father, and Lea is what means the most. Oh yea, Mom and Michele were in the background.

I don't recall the year, but we stood in line, Michele, Lea, a friend, and Uncle Bob, before a game in which McGwire had a bobblehead doll give away. It was a long snaking line, the kind Bob would only stand in to kick Obama in the healthcare. We got our bobblehead and it too is in Bob's office.

So..Uncle Bob's Take? Never more so that in the light of Tiger Woods, or Big Mac's affirmation is it true what Charles Barkley (famous basketball player) said: I am not a role model.

Mom's, Dad's, Grandma and Grandpa's, and even (gulp) Uncle Bobs should be, and we are, all role models.

Profiling...Damn Right

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves. And this present course as set by our leaders in D.C. is where we are headed. Defeat.

Muslim extremist have long been at war with America. Only recently have we, begrdudginly, acknowledged, but only as a nuiasnace.

And so as we travel, we take off our shoes, hand over our hairspray (God, how Uncle Bob hates that one), check our shampoo, and now maybe show what's hidden in our underwear, etc.

Old ladies and children checked and rechecked for an explosive in Malibu Barbie or bottle of Geritol.

Yet we are too politically correct to take a second look at Samar Al ben Ima Skyhook.

These events are actual events from history. They really happened! Do you remember?


HERE'S THE TEST

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and
massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3.. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in
Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year
old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in
his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy
diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed
by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women
problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as
missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the
remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other
was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of
people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. And now we can add: In 2009, 31 people wounded and 13 American Soldiers murdered on base at Fort Hood.

The answers to to the above? Each and everyone:

You guessed it - A Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40.

Uncle Bob is guessing Barry never took this test @ Harvard. Just a hunch.

Uncle Bob, the Underwear Bomber, and Barry

Well from the looks of this picture, Uncle Bob was totally off base in my previous post. I was concerned about the President's commitment to airline security and my safety.

Obviously Uncle Bob was mistaken. This gray-haired, blue gloved gentleman with some sort of pump jell in front of him has this Country protected.

Protected from what I don't know, but it does recall Uncle Bob's affection for the original Fletch movie.

"Using the whole fist, Doc?" Moon river...

Think we'll drive this summer.